Being the Odd (Wo)Man Out

I had a not-so-fun medical experience today. After the last one, I really wasn't thrilled to be headed into a hospital again. This time it was for a biopsy and everyone reassured me that it would be quick and easy. I'm pretty sure that's what I was told in October too!

But what really got to me is that the radiology tech, the nurse, and the doctor who were doing my procedure were all blown away by me. Well, not me per se but my physiology. I'm not overweight, my heart rate, blood pressure, and O2 saturation were all better than good. As I laid on the table and listened to them I realized that medical professionals NEVER see healthy, fit people. It's a rarity, a special treat. And they don't know how to handle it.

The nurse had to turn the alarms off on my monitor because my heart rate of 48 beats per minute was setting them off. My blood pressure of 96/68 was giving some periodic beeps as well. When the doctor pulled out a 5" needle my heart rate shot up... all the way to 60. The doctor double checked with the ultrasound tech that she was well away from my ribs because "she's so thin". The doctor didn't know how to approach a patient without inches and inches of extra padding!

I learned that the county where I had my procedure is one of the top ones in Pennsylvania for obesity. Over 50% of the population is obese, not just overweight, according to the hospital staff. I was told horror stories of patients who couldn't fit on regular beds, the needle wasn't long enough, or had bleeding issues because of all the medications they have to take on a daily basis for all their obesity-related illnesses.

Is this really the world we want to live in? To leave to our children? When will we put down the video games and pizzas and look outside our own front doors? I left the hospital feeling saddened. Not for myself but for all the people who don't know the joy of sprinting up a flight of stairs without getting winded. They don't know what it's like to ride a bike around a lake or hike through the woods. They can't go out dancing or even walk through a museum without having to sit down.

I want to help everyone even though I know I can't save them all. Today's experience just helped me recommit to the WHY behind why I am taking my personal training exam and becoming a coach. I'm going to let the tender spot just under my ribs be a reminder on why I need to study hard over the next few weeks. I've got lives to change and kids to save and souls to nurture. And I can't wait to get started!

The Anti-Gift List

As a blogger, a mother, a girlfriend, and member of the good old USA I tend to get smothered with (and sucked into) gift buying just like everyone else. I look at a pile of presents and wonder if it's 'enough'. I take on even more overtime to buy 'stuff' for the people I love. And then the holidays come and go and all that's left is a pile of wrapping paper. So instead of writing another 'what to buy the (runner, man, child) in your life' post I am writing the antithesis!

1.) Decorate your home/tree/yard together!

Go as big or little as you want. Put up inflatable Santas or wire and light reindeer. Make your own Charlie Brown tree. Bake salt dough ornaments. Or go all out Clark Griswold style!

2. Bake something!

You can make cookies or a cake. Make it as healthy (or not!) as you want. Get flour all over, feed eachother cookie dough, and laugh at the ridiculous cookie cutters Great Aunt Nancy gave you.

(Photo Credit: Tumblr)

3.) Get outside or workout

Throw snowballs, build a snowman, take a walk, head to the gym, or even shovel some white stuff together! 

(Photo Credit: PopSugar)

4.) Break out the home movies!

What else makes you feel closer to your loved ones than laughing at their bad perm or braces?

(Photo Credit: The Ellen Show)

5.) Make breakfast in bed

Because why not?!

(This is actually a tee shirt!)

6.) Write a letter

Yes, with a pen and a piece of paper. Grab and envelope and a stamp and send someone far away (or near!) an old fashioned note.

7.) Build a blanket and pillow fort

Because you can!

That's it! Get on with it! Go make some memories and save yourself the headaches of fighting crowds, tracking shipments, and losing the scissors or the tape while wrapping!

A Small Reveal

I alluded to a complete change of lifestyle in my last post. It drew a lot of interest and some questions so I contemplated doing a 'halfway' reveal. That would be next weekend but I still am not sure I'm ready to open myself up for input, criticism, or commentary from the general public yet. Sean and a couple of my closest friends have seen and supported me through the last 5 weeks. It's not always easy to be patient and trust the process. I want instant results just like everybody else. So instead of completely unveiling my new plan and body I thought I'd share the overview and a sneak peek instead.

The easiest way to explain what I've been doing is to say it's a balance between exercise, nutrition, and supplements. I'm hitting the gym 11 times per week. I run 5 days per week and lift 6 days. I combine easy runs and speed work and I hit every body part with weights at least once per week. I eat 'clean' 98% of the time. That's no joke! I eat 6 times per day, 7 days a week. One of those meals on Sunday gets to be a 'cheat' meal where I go out to eat with friends or family and splurge on a burger or a milkshake. And every day I follow a routine of supporting my nutrition and workouts with a careful selection of supplements.

Today's cheat meal at Rockhoppers

(Split with my mom!)

The results of this complete change have been astounding. I'm still waiting on an appointment to get my body fat percentage checked so I don't know where I started or where I am now (yet). But I have seen huge changes and my clothes fit differently than ever before.  My performances are improving on both runs and weights. And my energy is through the roof.

And here's the proof:

Completed 5k on the treadmill, the day after leg day and after going out dancing last night, in 24 minutes. My previous best was 24:27 and that was back in 2012. After only 5 weeks I have already met one of my 2015 goals (set a new 5k PR!).

AND

I'm stronger and happier with my body than ever before. Every week I go heavier, go harder, find another way to tweak my nutrition. And while I can't wait to share the full transformation with everyone, right now I am enjoying the journey and focusing on learning and growing on my own. 

Are you ready for 2015? Have you set your goals and outlined the steps to reach them yet?

How To Get Fit

I haven't posted in awhile. And, yes, it's partially due to my work schedule being crazy again. But it's mostly because I've been keeping a secret. I decided to completely overhaul my workouts, nutrition, and lifestyle to get into the best possible shape. Normally I would have posted progress pictures, weight and measurement updates, and generally over-informed the world. This time, however, I wanted to trust myself and trust the process. Put my own knowledge to use and follow through without input or criticism from outsiders. I'm still not ready to share my transformation but I do want to share what I'm learning.

In the last several weeks I've talked to quite a few women who are upset that they aren't losing weight. They are 'dieting' and exercising and counting every bite they put in their mouth but the scale isn't budging. They're hungry, cranky, and exhausted. And they all have one thing in common. They aren't eating enough!

Your body needs a certain amount of calories just to exist every day. Your brain, your heart, breathing, swallowing, and just being alive all take energy. This amount is otherwise known as your Base Metabolic Rate (BMR) and calculating this is the basis for changing your eating. I like to use a simple online calculator like the one at My Fitness Pal.

This number forms the basis for your nutrition. Then you need to eat enough to support walking, working, and exercising. This is your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE). A calculator like the one at IIFYM can calculate out your TDEE and it also takes it one step further by suggesting your calorie intake depending on your goals. A little below TDEE for weight loss, a little above for gaining muscle. Then you can even break it down further into macronutrient ratios but I'll save that for another post.

For now, just take a look at your calorie intake and adjust it to meet your actual needs! You'll look better, feel better, and see results faster!

Run Like A Nut

Crazy is probably the one thing I'm actually really good at. I'm a mediocre runner. I'm pretty average when it comes to just about anything in daily life. But dare me to do something that sounds batshit crazy and I'm all in. That said, the price of insanity can be quite high.

For the last four weeks I haven't done anything. Since the marathon, but especially after my surgical debacle, I have become deeply involved with my couch (and maybe mint chocolate chip ice cream). I haven't been allowed to do anything at work so I've spent my days staring at paper work and computers. I finally finished Breaking Bad and caught up on The Walking Dead. I also scheduled a trip to see Sean in South Carolina to brighten up my days a bit.

Which leads to our shining moment of brilliant insanity. Sean's close friend was registered for the Run Like A Nut Half Marathon in Florence, SC. Of course misery loves company, so he volunteered us as running buddies. Next thing I know I'm registered for 13.1 miles of pavement pounding.

The days leading up to the race were our normal ritual of bar food and beer, video games and television, spicy things, and CrossFit (which in a moment of clarity I decided to sit out). We also added a new little fur baby to the family, Jake. Much time was spent cuddling and spoiling him (and the other furry monsters, too). I worried a little about my stitches and lingering pain. Mostly I fretted about what to wear. Halloween races are so hard!

Cool kids teach their dogs to play video games

Saturday morning we woke early and met Sean's friend and his coworker at the military base. We piled into one vehicle and headed for Florence around 6:30am. Once we located the parking and start line we went into the Fitness Forum and picked up our bibs, shirts, and swag. We took everything back to the car just in time for the rain to start so I threw my Garmin back in the car along with my phone (sorry, no mid-race pics or splits!).

Swag

I was freezing in my INKnBURN skeleton shirt and denim shorts. I hadn't expected it to be colder in South Carolina than Pennsylvania and I really wasn't prepared to be wet on top of it. Thankfully a kind woman handed me a single use poncho as we huddled near the starting line.

Pre-race

We were sent off shortly after with very little fuss. Sean, our companions, and I set off conservatively. We ran and chatted and laughed but I could already feel my insides twisting and spasming. I tried to ignore it and focus on enjoying the company. I thought to myself, "We have to be at least 5k in by now. It's only single digit miles now." Then I saw the 1 mile marker and knew it was going to be a long day. I'm pretty sure I even cursed out loud.

From there things continued to go downhill. I checked out mentally. If someone asked me a direct question, I would respond. If our whole group laughed, I would too (even though I had no idea what was being said). I was already deep in the pain cave and we weren't even 5 miles in yet. The only upside was that I was mostly warm and dry in my poncho unlike the rest of my group.

Around mile 7 or 8 Sean's friend said something about my breathing sounding labored. Sean started to explain that I always sound like I'm dying but the conversation was just enough to pull me out of my own head. I suddenly realized I was being stupid and slowed to a walk. Sean dropped back and joined me and we told our companions to go on without us. We walked hand in hand for awhile, just talking, but it was too cold to stay slow for long. Sean mentioned that I could quit any time but I quickly dismissed that idea. If I had made it almost 9 miles then I could finish.

We picked up the pace again and passed the 9 and 10 mile markers. The rest of our group was long out of sight and the back of the pack was passing us with every walk break. We even saw the sweep vehicle on an out and back at one point. That was enough to put some pep in my step and we started running more than walking again. A friendly stray cat joined us for a couple blocks, running to catch us and then winding around my ankles until I started moving again. It was the best mood boost I could have asked for at that point.

Sean was once again the voice of reason, forcing me to walk when I looked or sounded as if I was in too much pain. Finally, I told him that we just needed to finish. Nothing was going to make me feel better until I could quit running. So he took the lead and said, "Just focus on staying on my heels." I put my head down, pushed back into my own head, and off we went. It was exactly what I needed until I got a foot cramp around mile 11 or 12. Forced to walk again, I couldn't escape the pain. Finally, the cramp subsided and Sean took the lead again, slowly picking off a few of the runners who had passed us during my walk breaks.

At one point, Sean started trying to encourage me. "Just a little more baby." "You can do this." Being pulled out of my mental fog brought all the pain front and center again. I snapped, "Shut the (expletive) up and run!" Thankfully Sean wasn't upset by my outburst. Instead, he took my advice and poured on a little more speed.

A volunteer at a turn told us, "Five more blocks." and I about died with happiness. It was the longest five blocks of my life but we finally turned the last bend and I saw the line. Sean and I crossed together and grabbed our medals. Then it was back into the warm building to find our friends and get dried off and fed.

Much happier (and apparently forgiven) after we finished

Our official finish time was 2:21:54. We were 78th and 79th overall. I was 4th in my age group and Sean was 5th in his. While our results are not at all impressive ordinarily, this time I am more than happy with my performance. I proved to myself that I haven't lost all of my fitness and mentally I can still push through even the toughest runs. I got to spend a few miles with my favorite person on earth and a couple really good friends. I didn't die and I don't think I caused any permanent damage. Overall, it was a great day!

Even Jake says it was just what we needed

What if?

Things have not been smooth sailing around here lately. I'll just start out with the fact that this post will contain some medical stuff so if you're squeamish you may want to skip reading this one.

I had an appointment with my doctor a couple weeks before the marathon. During my check up I mentioned that I was interested in permanent birth control and we set up the surgery for this past Friday. Thursday night I did the whole pre-op checklist: shower with no fragrances or oils, no hair gels or perfume, no eating after midnight, etc. I was feeling optimistic that I'd feeling good and back at work by Monday, Tuesday at the latest. I chatted with my boyfriend and he eased my nerves enough for me to get a restful night's sleep.

However, things didn't go as planned and I suffered a bladder injury during surgery. I ended up being admitted to the hospital from Friday through most of Saturday and left with a catheter. I'm on light duty for at least two weeks at work but it all depends on the outcome of my visit with a urologist tomorrow. For now everything I'm used to hangs in the balance, dependent upon my ability to, ahem, go to the bathroom on my own tomorrow.

There's a 99% certainty that everything will be fine. But that small chance that it won't is weighing on me.

What if I ended up with a catheter long term? What if there's permanent damage that impacts me in other ways? Could I run again? Can I be a good parent? Could I still be a great girlfriend? I can't even wear my normal pants right now. I'm restricted to a recliner or my bed for the most part. I've had to ask my mother to do my laundry and clean my fish tank and care for my girls. And it all boils down to one feeling that I can actually name, inadequacy.

All the things that I know as 'me' could disappear in a heartbeat. If not this incident, something else could happen in the future. I always wondered how people facing long medical battles stay positive, keep going. And now I'm even more in awe of my friends who've dealt, or are dealing, with more traumatic experiences.

I look in the mirror and I see a pale(er?) face, a body sheathed in baggy sweats, and a bloated, bruised, and bandaged stomach that wouldn't come close to the almost-abs I had last week. Physically,I'm completely changed for the moment. Mentally, I am screaming. Why me? How did this happen? Why did it happen? Will I ever be 100% normal again? I know all of the chances say yes but there was almost no chance of this injury happening in the first place, statistically speaking.

I'm so grateful for my friends and family who have been supporting me this past week. Every call, text, and message has helped me hold on to my patience and sanity. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Think positive for me and make sure you take some time to enjoy the things you love today. There's always that very small chance they won't be there tomorrow.

Darlington Marathon Recap

Excuse the delay in getting to this. It's been a crazy few weeks.

My taper ended up coinciding with an outage at work. For those unfamiliar with the term, an outage is when a plant (power, chemical, refinery, etc.) shuts down for maintenance and repairs. It usually means I end up working 12 or more hours per day and sometimes staying out of town. Outages are great for my wallet but terrible for my running because it always parallels peak racing seasons.

I left for South Carolina directly from work on Thursday. I planned to drive a little over halfway and then stop for the night but I ended up making the trip straight through. Sean still had to work Friday so I occupied myself with picking up our packets, shopping for our pre-race breakfast, and laying out my outfit. By the time he came home I was going a little stir crazy and he'd had a rough day. So we did what all the best runners do... went to the bar. After a few drinks and some wings we finally called it a night.

Our alarms went off at 5:00am Saturday morning and we dressed quickly. Breakfast consisted of Clif bars and bananas in the car. I really missed my coffee but there wasn't anywhere to stop along the route. We arrived right at 6:30 and parked in the infield of the Darlington Raceway. There was some hilarity to our self-induced predicament. Under trained for a marathon that runs around a NASCAR track and is sponsored by a fried chicken chain.... pure 'Murica.

Pano shot of the raceway from the infield

We visited the restrooms, ditched our long sleeves in the car, and lined up on the track with the half and full runners. There were some announcements and then the National Anthem was sung. Pretty soon it was time to get started and we went out around a 9:30 pace just to get off the steeply banked track. We decided to run 2 miles and walk 1 minute for the first 10 miles and then reevaluate.

Mile 1-5: 9:36, 9:43, 9:46, 9:35, 9:51

The first few miles flew by as we found our rhythm and joked around. There was a group of very LOUD women directly behind us. We would speed up to get away from their chatter but it was like they were chasing us. Finally we took a restroom and walk break in mile 6 and got behind them enough that we didn't have to listen to them anymore. One of the nice things about a small marathon is being able to enjoy a conversation and your surroundings in relative peace. And we finally got our chance on the remainder of this loop.

Mile 6 - 10: 10:51, 9:58, 9:50, 10:19, 9:57

Giving a guy who's 6' 4" bunny ears is tough

But his reaction when he catches you is priceless!

We continued to goof off and just generally have fun for the remainder of the first loop. We went to a run 1 mile, walk 1 minute interval towards the end of the loop which brought our average pace down some but we tried not to focus on anything but staying comfortable. Any time I picked up the pace Sean would gently (or not so much) remind me to slow the eff down! We passed the half by looping through the pit road of the raceway and back onto the streets of Darlington. The course was not closed to traffic and there were a few times I saw cars blow past the police and volunteers trying to direct them away from the runners. Thankfully there were no close calls that I saw.

Miles 11-15: 11:41, 11:22, 10:54, 10:22, 10:31

Yeah, I was ahead of Sean here ;)

As we got into the late morning heat of South Carolina the humidity rose and my breathing was worrying Sean. His knee was also beginning to give him some aches. I thought it was because he was going slow to stay with me so I told him to go ahead but he refused to leave my side. The chatty girls had slowed down and were quieter now. I began to contemplate that they just might be in my age group and that passing them might mean a medal for me. Sean had to keep pulling me back from trying to pass them too quickly. We slowly gained on them until they walked on a gentle uphill (to a girl from Pennsylvania) and then we overtook them for good.

Mile 16-20: 10:33, 11:42, 10:42, 11:40, 10:49

Somewhere in the first half

Around mile 19 Sean's knee decided it had had enough. We tried taking longer and more frequent walk breaks but it wasn't helping. We then tried to just push through but he could no longer bend his knee without feeling like it was going to give out. I promised to stay with him no matter what but he made me promise that I would beat the chatty girls even if it meant leaving him behind. I continued to walk with him and encourage him to try to run for awhile longer but by mile 24 I was cramping up from all the walking. My body felt much better when I was running and the women I had worked so hard to pass were back in view behind us.

Miles 21-24: 11:26, 11:47, 12:56, 12:38

Downtown Darlington

Sean encouraged me to go ahead and I finally did. I felt really weird running the last 2 miles alone but I also felt really strong thanks to Sean's restraint on our earlier miles. I tackled the last long uphill grade passing many, many limping and puking marathoners. At one point I glanced at my Garmin, saw an 8:xx pace, and thought, "Wow! I have never felt this good this late in the game!" I turned into the raceway for the last 1+ miles on the track. I tore down the pit road, rounded the first sharply banked turn, and then cramped up! Less than half a mile from the finish line and I hit the wall. I was a little upset with myself but I took a deep breath, walked to the next turn, and then pushed every last shred of muscle in my legs to carry me into a run for the finish.

Mile 25-26: 10:02, 12:18

Finally finished!

My legs cooperated and I crossed the finish in 4:47:46. Not a PR but right in line with most of my marathon times. My legs instantly locked up as soon as I stopped to get my medal. I almost went down and an official grabbed me and started to drag me towards the golf cart waiting to take runners to the med tent. I didn't want to miss Sean's finish so I assured him I was fine, grabbed a water, and began to walk around until my legs quit fighting me.

I must have just missed Sean coming into the pit road as I fought to remain upright and in the finish area. Almost as soon as I was recovered I saw him come around the final turn and fight to run the home stretch. I asked the woman handing out medals if I could give Sean his and she handed me one. As soon as he crossed the line I grabbed him for a kiss and draped the medal around his neck. He hugged me tight and I knew that I was forgiven for leaving him at the last minute.

Sean crossing the line

Once Sean had some water and recovered his ability to walk we posed for pictures and then made our way to the celebration area and results tent. We typed in our bib numbers and were both shocked to learn we'd gotten second in our age groups. We walked over to the awards table and had to wait for our placement to be verified but it was correct after all! We proudly took our medals over to the food table before we made our way back to the car.

Bling!

We celebrated my 8th marathon and his 2nd by picking up some Ibuprofen and BBQ on the way home. After a shower and lots of food (maybe some beer) we both felt good enough to continue the celebration with Sean's good friend that you may remember from the CrossFit competition in August. Good food, good friends, and some good alcohol made the night amazing. It's amazing what a difference sharing our accomplishment made on our views of the day. I wouldn't have been so happy if I hadn't shared it with an amazing man.

Bacon shots!

After a good night of sleep we decided that breakfast should be a good, greasy, southern-style affair. We headed to Bubba's diner and, once again, the running community never ceases to amaze me. Sean and I were seated next to a familiar face and I had to check FaceBook just to make sure I wasn't seeing things. I was seated next to the amazing Bruce and his wife, Brandi. Bruce helped me immensely at North Coast 24 Hour last year and I thought I would never get a chance to properly thank him since he is from Florida and I'm from Pennsylvania. But here we were, reuniting in rural South Carolina. They were even kind enough to invite Sean and I to visit for the Jacksonville Marathon for my birthday weekend. We chatted all through breakfast and caught up like we hadn't been mostly out of touch for over a year. It was the perfect ending to our marathon weekend.

Super happy to see Bruce and company at Bubba's Diner!

Honestly, I don't know how I can even explain how incredible the whole weekend was. I've made an effort to surround myself with only the best people and in return I have developed the most amazing relationship, built true friendships, and accomplished things I wouldn't have done on my own. I'm not sure that I would actually recommend Darlington Marathon on its own merit but if you have the right support any race can be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I feel like the luckiest woman on earth and I'm not sure how we're going to top this. I just know that we will!