Goodbyes

I'm almost to the end of my 26th year of life. It's been a great year for the most part. I celebrated my one year wedding anniversary, I have run 32 races, I have seen my babies grow to 6 and 1 years old, and I have made a ton of new friends both at my new job and outside of it. I've also been given an extraordinary amount of opportunities. I ran half of 2011 for Team reGen and enjoyed every moment of it! Now I have been offered FitFluential ambassadorship and a Nike wear testing position. A girl could not ask for more!

However, there is always the downside. 'Friends' who don't understand my running, blogging, and busy lifestyle have drifted away. I don't mind the gradual distancing so much. Sometimes it's easier that way. What I do mind is the people who have become downright ignorant, even rude, in the way they approach me. I'm realizing that even though I post exactly what I'm doing, thinking, feeling, that people don't react equally.



Some people seem to regard me as some kind of super-athlete. This is confusing to me because I post about my training and how slow I am. My mileage is extremely low compared to most ultra runners and that explains why I'm a mid-pack finisher at best. I don't mind these friends because I hope that I encourage them to push their boundaries the way my idols have encouraged me.

A few people have been less pleasant in their reactions. They have become snarky or begun to give me the cold shoulder as if I am somehow beneath them. People who used to text me just to say hello stopped responding to any form of communication. Friends who used to join me for a 20 mile run in the woods stopped inviting me at all. I don't get a 'Happy Holidays' post on FaceBook or an invite to events. And at first, it bothered me.

Then I realized something. My time is valuable. I am valuable. I don't have to be treated that way and I don't have to keep going back for more. There's a reason FaceBook and Twitter have the means to unfriend or unfollow. There's a reason you can block phone numbers and emails. I don't have to read their pages and comments.



This epiphany set me free. I stopped wasting my time waiting for these people to realize I'm still the same person. If they feel I've changed for the worse they had a responsibility as a friend to say so in a kind way. Their choice not to communicate their feelings belies their claims of friendship and proves them unworthy of my consideration.

I am lucky. Total strangers have helped me in times of need. Friends that I've barely seen since highschool have wished me health and happiness for holidays, birthdays, and no reason other than to say hello. Thanks to the generosity of family and friends and teammates I've never met I have been able to raise $410 for the IAFF Burn Fund in only 5 days.

For 2012, my 27th year, I am grateful for the true friendships I've formed. I'm thankful for the faith and generosity of total strangers. I am truly blessed to have family that will let me run for 2-5 hours every weekend to get ready for a race that will take me away from home for an entire weekend. I'm thankful for total strangers who have offered me training advice and offered to come to the race and pace me without ever having met me. Lastly, I am thankful for the friends that I have yet to meet. I know they will be some of the best yet if the past year has been any kind of taste of what's to come!

What will you do with your 2012? Will you continue to let people tell you what your limits are? Or will you go out and find them yourself? I wish you health, happiness, and true friendship in the year ahead!