So I eventually decided that a degree in business administration was a good base for whatever I ended up doing. I got my Associates around the same time I started running and realized that I wasn't going to be happy sitting at a desk and crunching numbers. So I changed my major to Sport Management: Health and Wellness. I seriously would run for a living if I was talented enough. I eat, sleep, and breathe running. I have a running calendar, running ornaments on my tree, a running tattoo on my ankle, etc.
Running makes me smile
I've kept plugging along at this degree thinking that working with athletes would make me happy. I'm not sure WHAT exactly I'll be doing with it but it will be closer to my dreams. Then I got laid off at work. It's not permanent or anything. It's just seasonal downturn that is the nature of my day job. The last couple weeks I've been doing nothing but focusing on my training, my classes and, of course, my family. Apparently the euphoria surrounding me during this period has been palpable. One of my friends commented, "Did you change jobs? You seem so much happier lately." And that got me thinking....
What exactly is it that I'm looking for? I know I can't just run and be mommy when I finish college as much as I would love to. There's bills to pay and races to register for and little people demanding clothes, food, and entertainment. So what will make me happy and put food on the table? What are my exact needs and wants in a career? I started by taking the time to really examine what I DON'T like about what I do now as I suffered through a treadmill run today.
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. It's GOALS! I love running because I have goals and benchmarks and I can measure my success in a quantifiable form. Perhaps those business classes are paying off? I don't know if I ever would have thought about quantifiable goals without them. However, in my current job I don't have them. Every day I go somewhere different and work with new people and see new things. These are elements I DO like because I get to move and learn. (Add to 'need' list.) BUT I can't measure my success in any form except financially.
It's easy to measure success here
If I were an accounting professional at a company I could aim to improve cost savings by X percent or increase profit by a certain margin. If I were a health professional I could work to improve patient outcomes. In my job I can't control anything or work towards anything. I am given an assignment (perform X number of tests tonight) and then left to do it. My shift is over when the work is done so it's not a race against the clock and I can't outperform expectations. I simply do as instructed and move onto the next job. And THAT is exactly what drives me nuts! I want to measure my improvement and my growth. I want to set new goals as I exceed my current ones. I want to know what's expected of me in a quantifiable way and then work to rise above them.
So where does that leave me? Well, in fact, nowhere. I still have twelve more classes until I graduate and I still have to work at my current job until that point. And rumor has it that the university I'm attending is facing a teacher strike so it may take longer than the 3 semesters I had planned. But now I have a new goal! Find a job that meets these needs: Work in varying places and/or with varying people, have room for growth and learning, and be able to set and meet quantifiable goals with my supervisors. Now I can look at job openings in the health and wellness field with a better eye for what I may want to pursue. And that in and of itself is a huge step for me! Maybe I'll actually be able to answer the age old question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
