My big news and small updates

I'm pretty sure EVERYONE knows by now but I wanted to share it here as well. After I took (and passed!) my personal training certification I made the drive to South Carolina to spend some time with Sean. It was our pretty typical week together. I played with the dogs and cleaned around the house while he was at work. And in the evenings we meal prepped and hit the gym together. Then, on Sunday, he changed everything.

Sean woke me up around 4am Sunday morning and hustled me into the car. He handed me his hoodie and told me to use the hood as a blindfold any time he asked. I was too groggy to argue and over the next two hours we chatted and laughed all while I kept getting a hood thrown over my eyes every time a road sign approached. The highlight of the trip may have been when we got pulled over! The cop asked Sean where we were headed and Sean just froze for a minute. Then he asked, "Can I write it down because I'm trying to surprise her?" The cop apparently figured out what was up and let us go on our way!

Blue lights! 

We arrived in Myrtle Beach just as the sky was beginning to lighten. Sean directed me out to the pier and we watched the sun rise over the choppy waves. It was breezy out over the water so I was clinging pretty tightly when Sean pushed me back a little. He looked at me for a second and then said something along the lines of:

"Sara Altair, I want to ask you here beneath the sun and the moon (both were out) if you'll marry me and share all the miles we have to go before we sleep."

The pier where Sean proposed

Sean took this picture right after I said yes

I, of course, started to cry and said yes. We spent a little more time on the pier before we went back to the car to retrieve another coat for me. We decided to walk the beach looking for shells and just enjoying our moment before we returned to our usual, crazy lives.

 Sean on the beach

So many shells

Sean found me this perfect shell

 The ring

Sean also got me a QALO ring so I can work out with it!

Our challenge now is to get him back to Pittsburgh. Everyone keeps asking if we've set a date but we need to live in the same state first! 

Lastly, I created another vlog. Just a rehashing of the engagement and some small updates on my competition training. Enjoy!

I am Not an Athlete

When I started running just 5 short years ago I wanted to be lean and defined and 'athletic'. I wanted the body and the attitude that went with it. I assumed that once I completed the Couch to 5k program I would feel like an athlete and be well on my way to looking like one too.

Then I finished my first 5k in 29:59 and realized that I am not fast in any sense of the word. I didn't have an excuse for not being able to beat that mark for a long time. I wasn't overweight. I quit smoking. I followed training plans. But I was still slow.

After my first half marathon

 

I convinced myself that I must be a distance runner. You know, all slow twitch. So I set my sights on a half marathon and finished in 2:29. I was still slow and I still looked exactly the same. The pattern continued and I tried the marathon, the 50k, the 50 mile. And the results were the same. I finished in the back of the pack, sometimes even dead last.

Shane and I after my first ultra in 2009

 

Every distance I tried I succeeded in finishing but it was never good enough. When I failed at 100 miles it was a real shock. When I failed a second time I was doubly convinced that I must not be cut out for it. So I hired a coach and gave training my all and finally 'succeeded' on my third try. I thought for sure that NOW I would feel like an athlete.

 

Well, the truth is, I don't. I still finished at the back of the pack. I didn't do anything impressive. All I did was endure. That's all I've ever done; Hold on until the finish line is in sight and then heave myself across. I still don't look any different. I still don't feel any different.

 

I'm not saying running hasn't given me anything or changed my life. I am more confident because I feel more comfortable in my skin. But it's still the same skin. And I have made tons of great friends and travelled and gotten to experience many great things. But I'm still just me. I am still just average and I'm still scatter-brained and eccentric.

 

The Pretty Muddy experience

 

I don't know what it will take to convince me that I'm 'good enough'. Obviously, distance wasn't the answer. I'm not sure there IS an answer. Maybe that's the telltale sign of a competitor. Maybe I'm overly competitive. Maybe I'm just insane. In the end, all I know is that I still want to be better. The question now is what kind of better? And I think the answer is speed.

Boston Harvest 5k 2012

 

I want to consider myself fast. I want to take a podium spot because I ran a great race, not because the fast women were somewhere else that day. I want to be able to dream of Boston. I want to be in the front waves of my next marathon. I'm not sure how I'll get there or what it will take but I plan to find out. And I can only hope that the same initiative and drive that got me over 100 miles will push me to new race times as well. At least now I have a base to build on!

 

When did you feel like an athlete? What are your favorite speed workouts or training plans?

Growing Goals

As you all know I'm (still) in college. The reason why is simple. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life. Does anyone really at 18? I started out thinking I wanted to work in genetics. Dolly the sheep and glowing mice and the Human Genome Project all happened while I was in school. I began majoring in biology and quickly realized I didn't have the right stuff. I don't mean that I'm not a good student. I mean that I can't grasp things I can't see and touch. Electricity? Lost on me. DNA? Same thing.

So I eventually decided that a degree in business administration was a good base for whatever I ended up doing. I got my Associates around the same time I started running and realized that I wasn't going to be happy sitting at a desk and crunching numbers. So I changed my major to Sport Management: Health and Wellness. I seriously would run for a living if I was talented enough. I eat, sleep, and breathe running. I have a running calendar, running ornaments on my tree, a running tattoo on my ankle, etc.

Running makes me smile

I've kept plugging along at this degree thinking that working with athletes would make me happy. I'm not sure WHAT exactly I'll be doing with it but it will be closer to my dreams. Then I got laid off at work. It's not permanent or anything. It's just seasonal downturn that is the nature of my day job. The last couple weeks I've been doing nothing but focusing on my training, my classes and, of course, my family. Apparently the euphoria surrounding me during this period has been palpable. One of my friends commented, "Did you change jobs? You seem so much happier lately." And that got me thinking....

What exactly is it that I'm looking for? I know I can't just run and be mommy when I finish college as much as I would love to. There's bills to pay and races to register for and little people demanding clothes, food, and entertainment. So what will make me happy and put food on the table? What are my exact needs and wants in a career? I started by taking the time to really examine what I DON'T like about what I do now as I suffered through a treadmill run today.

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. It's GOALS! I love running because I have goals and benchmarks and I can measure my success in a quantifiable form. Perhaps those business classes are paying off? I don't know if I ever would have thought about quantifiable goals without them. However, in my current job I don't have them. Every day I go somewhere different and work with new people and see new things. These are elements I DO like because I get to move and learn. (Add to 'need' list.) BUT I can't measure my success in any form except financially.

It's easy to measure success here

If I were an accounting professional at a company I could aim to improve cost savings by X percent or increase profit by a certain margin. If I were a health professional I could work to improve patient outcomes. In my job I can't control anything or work towards anything. I am given an assignment (perform X number of tests tonight) and then left to do it. My shift is over when the work is done so it's not a race against the clock and I can't outperform expectations. I simply do as instructed and move onto the next job. And THAT is exactly what drives me nuts! I want to measure my improvement and my growth. I want to set new goals as I exceed my current ones. I want to know what's expected of me in a quantifiable way and then work to rise above them.

So where does that leave me? Well, in fact, nowhere. I still have twelve more classes until I graduate and I still have to work at my current job until that point. And rumor has it that the university I'm attending is facing a teacher strike so it may take longer than the 3 semesters I had planned. But now I have a new goal! Find a job that meets these needs: Work in varying places and/or with varying people, have room for growth and learning, and be able to set and meet quantifiable goals with my supervisors. Now I can look at job openings in the health and wellness field with a better eye for what I may want to pursue. And that in and of itself is a huge step for me! Maybe I'll actually be able to answer the age old question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

The Pain Cave

During the interview with Shalane Flanagan the topic of cross training came up. While I love to hear all about the training of the athletes I admire, I found the next question to be even more interesting. A member of the media group asked about Shalane's tolerance for pain and how she can push herself through moments when her brain is screaming, "STOP!"

See for yourself!

I remember when I first started running and I would wonder, "Is that supposed to hurt?" There were aches in my shins, my calves, my knees, my hips and basically every part of my body. I vividly recall my first case of Illiotibial Band Syndrome (ITBS) and not being able to walk up and down stairs after my first half marathon. I was truly worried that I'd damaged myself beyond repair and ended my running career before it ever got started.

I found Shalane's response truly comforting. She can get past it because she's been there in practice. I may not be busting out 15 400 meter repeats on the track once a week or tempo runs at a 5 minute mile but I do push myself. Sometimes my lungs start to burn, literally burn. My heart starts to beat so loud I wonder if it might just quit. My leg muscles throb and, when I finally stop, shake with the effort they've just put out. I've spent sleepless nights tossing and turning because I can't shake the cramps and pains that are wracking my body, especially after an ultra.

I think one of the reasons I was able to PR at Marshall was because I have wrecked myself beyond good sense at other points in my training and racing. I was able to pace it better because I know what each effort level feels like and how long I can sustain it. The same thing with the Baker 50 Mile. I didn't take 53 minutes off my time by running myself into the ground but by knowing my body inside and out.

Sometimes you have to push past what you think you can endure to find out where your limits really lie. And then you push those limits out a little further every time you train and have to find them all over again.

Where Athlete and Fashion Meet

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm NOT a 'fastinista'. When running comfort is my biggest factor. When I find something that fits, stays put, and doesn't chafe I stick with it. If it looks good then that's just a bonus.

I must be beginning to soften in my old age though. I gave in and let my stylist take me from boring ponytail to stylish assymetric bob a month or so ago. I have to admit I love it! Then my biggest problem was how to RUN with something I couldn't pull back.



Thankfully, BIC Bands came to my rescue! They're site convinced me that this was the brand to try! Who doesn't love a company that gives a portion of their profits to charity?!

"B.I.C. Bands gives back to those in need with every purchase!
B.I.C. Bands are headbands that will not slip~ (SERIOUSLY!) They are great for any workout, a trip to the coffee shop, going out with friends, work....
you name it, your B.I.C. Band will keep your hair looking FAB! They are headbands that stay in place and help others win their race!"

I tried them out and now I'm hooked! I even sported one to the office today! See?


If you want to score some BIC Bands you can enter to win them through my giveaway that benefits the IAFF Burn Fund. I've got a DOZEN to give away!

Now if someone could just point me in the direction of a tutorial on office AND gym friendly make up? (And maybe a spray tan too! Can you say glow-in-the-dark?!)