Here's To 2015!

Happy New Year! It's hard to believe 2014 is over already. So many experiences, both good and bad, were over in the blink of an eye. I'm ready for a new start and lots of opportunities!

The big project I mentioned is finally kicking off! So here's my first announcement for the year. I am now a Brand Specialist for the DICK'S Sporting Goods Pittsburgh Marathon! I will be here from now until race day to help you prepare, train, and conquer. You'll be able to run with me beginning with the kickoff run on January 3 and find me at different DICK'S stores throughout the training season to help you with questions, gear selection, and motivation. I am very, VERY excited to be working with all of the amazing staff and runners who make my hometown marathon possible!

I hope you all had a great holiday and feel ready to take on your first, fastest, or funnest (I know it's not a word!) marathon with me in 2015!

I am Not an Athlete

When I started running just 5 short years ago I wanted to be lean and defined and 'athletic'. I wanted the body and the attitude that went with it. I assumed that once I completed the Couch to 5k program I would feel like an athlete and be well on my way to looking like one too.

Then I finished my first 5k in 29:59 and realized that I am not fast in any sense of the word. I didn't have an excuse for not being able to beat that mark for a long time. I wasn't overweight. I quit smoking. I followed training plans. But I was still slow.

After my first half marathon

 

I convinced myself that I must be a distance runner. You know, all slow twitch. So I set my sights on a half marathon and finished in 2:29. I was still slow and I still looked exactly the same. The pattern continued and I tried the marathon, the 50k, the 50 mile. And the results were the same. I finished in the back of the pack, sometimes even dead last.

Shane and I after my first ultra in 2009

 

Every distance I tried I succeeded in finishing but it was never good enough. When I failed at 100 miles it was a real shock. When I failed a second time I was doubly convinced that I must not be cut out for it. So I hired a coach and gave training my all and finally 'succeeded' on my third try. I thought for sure that NOW I would feel like an athlete.

 

Well, the truth is, I don't. I still finished at the back of the pack. I didn't do anything impressive. All I did was endure. That's all I've ever done; Hold on until the finish line is in sight and then heave myself across. I still don't look any different. I still don't feel any different.

 

I'm not saying running hasn't given me anything or changed my life. I am more confident because I feel more comfortable in my skin. But it's still the same skin. And I have made tons of great friends and travelled and gotten to experience many great things. But I'm still just me. I am still just average and I'm still scatter-brained and eccentric.

 

The Pretty Muddy experience

 

I don't know what it will take to convince me that I'm 'good enough'. Obviously, distance wasn't the answer. I'm not sure there IS an answer. Maybe that's the telltale sign of a competitor. Maybe I'm overly competitive. Maybe I'm just insane. In the end, all I know is that I still want to be better. The question now is what kind of better? And I think the answer is speed.

Boston Harvest 5k 2012

 

I want to consider myself fast. I want to take a podium spot because I ran a great race, not because the fast women were somewhere else that day. I want to be able to dream of Boston. I want to be in the front waves of my next marathon. I'm not sure how I'll get there or what it will take but I plan to find out. And I can only hope that the same initiative and drive that got me over 100 miles will push me to new race times as well. At least now I have a base to build on!

 

When did you feel like an athlete? What are your favorite speed workouts or training plans?

Only The Strong Survive

"I will not be forgotten.

This is my time to shine.

I've got the scars to prove it,

Only the strong survive.

 

I'm not afraid of dying;

Everyone has their time.

Life never favored weakness.

Welcome to the pride."

~Five Finger Death Punch

 

 

You may not be a fan of heavy rock or alternative or whatever you want to classify 5FDP as. However, this song went on my playlist because the lyrics SPEAK to me. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't be weak this training cycle. I swore that I wouldn't make excuses to quit or lessen the burden of training. I promised that I would find out exactly how deep I can dig and just how strong I am. I wanted to be one of those runners. You know, the ones who run in the pouring rain at 4am because it's the only time they could run? One of those runners who never gives up because life throws them a curve ball. I think they could justifiably be called a 'pride'.

So when I got called into work unexpectedly Wednesday night I had to make some quick adjustments on the fly. A planned 10 mile run got swapped with cross training. I banged out 40 minutes worth of strength training before I raced off to work the 4 to midnight shift. I promised myself that I would run my 10 miles as soon as I got home even though I had been up since 6am already. I moved 10 foot long pipes back and forth through our shop all night. I dealt with a major crisis with a radioactive source that could have proved dangerous but thankfully didn't. I wondered every minute how I could survive a run after this but reminded myself that I will feel worse at Burning River and probably have more than 10 miles to go at that point. I needed to be strong!

Then my boss put another wrench in my plans. Two of our guys are down sick so I needed to come back in at 8am and put in another shift. That meant getting home at 1am, sleeping for 5 hours, and then going back to work. No way to put 10 miles in unless I wanted to be in a coma by lunch time. I dragged myself back into the shop and loaded all of those 10 foot pipes on a truck for our customer BY HAND because we're not allowed to touch them with a fork truck or crane. I loaded heavy castings for another customer and then started working on some different castings we had in the lab. I was exhausted. I was starving. And all I could think about was running.

I begged my brain not to give my legs excuses. I bargained with myself. "Just get on the treadmill and see what you can do." Finally, my relief arrived and I was able to head home. I stopped and picked up some fish food on the way. I puttered around the kitchen sorting mail and drinking water when I got home. I fed the fish some new food. I basically did anything to avoid putting on my running shoes. Then Shane woke up and I knew it was now or never.

I asked him to get Gem off the bus and pick up Ash so I could run and he agreed. (I'm a lucky wife, huh?) I changed and headed down to the basement like a prisoner headed for the electric chair. I popped in a movie and started out slowly. My legs protested at first but then it started to feel better. The knot of worry and stress in my chest released and I felt like I could breathe again. My stride started to loosen up and I was able to get close to the pace I was supposed to hit.

I didn't push myself to hit the recommended paces. I know that being awake for close to 40 hours with only a nap in the middle wasn't the preferred state for training. I went with the flow and even paused to grab some cookies for a quick sugar hit when I started to fade. The next thing I knew:

BAM! Ten miles done!

 

And now I know.... I am one of the strong. I will survive whatever life throws at me: job, personal, or anything else. I survived crazy work hours, a long way to run on the treadmill, and my fourth ACSM CPT class. And I'll survive working again tomorrow and whatever it may bring. Welcome to the pride!

 

 

Week In Review

I think it will help me (and maybe those of you who want to follow in my madness) if I post a review of my training. I'm going to try and make this a weekly post, hopefully every Sunday, and use it as a way to keep my motivation up.

Because we all need more cat pictures on the interwebz

 

So here is the week of November 26 to December 2 in review:



Monday: 5.5 miles at 10:45 avg. pace + CrossFit

Tuesday: 6 miles at 9:58 avg. pace. This included speed work intervals.

Wednesday: 5 miles at 11:56 avg. pace. Recovery run + CrossFit.

Thursday: Rest. (Sick)

Friday: Unscheduled rest day due to being sick.

Saturday: 6 miles at 9:52 avg. pace. The middle miles were fast tempo.

Sunday: 10 miles at 11:20 avg. pace. A shorter version of a long run.

Total: 32.5 Miles


All in all it was a good week except for the illness that snuck up on me Wednesday. Let's just hope this week doesn't hold any nasty surprises!

Ultra Runners are the 1%

I don't mean that we're above the general population or other runners in any way. Well, except mileage... But I digress.

If you read my last post then you know I'm up to my eyeballs in stress. However, I don't react like a 'normal' person. No! I sit through a 2.5 hour meeting on a Tuesday wondering just how sick I have to be to leave early. Doesn't mental health count for something?



So after the meeting I rush back to my desk with 20 minutes until lunch break. I bang out every email, every letter and phone call and still have 10 minutes left. I spend them trying to figure out the best way to let my bosses know I'm going home without them asking too many questions. I finally settle for "I don't feel very well and I've decided to go home. If you have an urgent need please call my cell." That's the thing about we ultra runners, we don't waste a drop of energy if we don't have to. Not even to write an excuse for work.

I head home feeling uplifted and enjoying the weather. I'll probably never see 60 degrees and sunny on January 31 in Pittsburgh ever again! I know there's a lot of things I could be doing with my suddenly open afternoon. I tick off the list in my head: homework, laundry, writing a blog post, playing with my dogs, etc. But there's not even a question in my mind of Priority Uno. I'm going running! The only question is, "How many miles can I fit into the time I have?"



The answer to that turned out to be 10. On a 'normal' day I might have banged out 12 or more. Today wasn't normal because I did an extremely leg focused weights program yesterday. On top of that I was extremely under-fueled having eaten only a Clif bar and coffee in the last 12 hours. I decided it was perfect testing conditions for my Umstead plan. (Because that's how ultra runners think right? RIGHT?!)

I tucked a Peanut Butter GU (YUM!) and some Margarita Shot Bloks (Double yum!) into my SPIbelt and took off. I didn't even take a handheld with me (because I couldn't wait another second to fill up a water bottle before I hit the trails)! And this is why I love distance running....

First mile, I'm okay but my legs HURT. I can feel my quads groaning. I'm pretty sure a mutiny is in the works. Second mile, the quads are starting to say, "Okay, okay! We give!" Miles 3-5 I'm just cruising (slowly). I take a few walk breaks and pop my GU (now I wish I had water!) and then a Shot Blok. I turn around at mile 5 even though I'm entertaining thoughts of just running until I know my husband is starting to worry and then calling him to come get me.

Mile 6 I'm cruising again. My breathing is steady, my heartbeat even. It's the closest I'll ever feel to being a machine. At 7 miles I start to wonder what people think when they see me out there. Do I look like I've lost my mind? Can they see the sheer happy stupidity that is radiating from every cell of my body? From the sideways looks and cautious waves I believe that they do. Miles 8-10 I'm just pushing to get it in now. I know I don't have fast in me today but I feel good knowing that I'm probably as depleted as I'll be 50 or 60 miles into Umstead (calorie-wise and muscle weakness-wise) and I'm still cranking out 11 minute miles and optimistic. Where else do pain and pure bliss come in a single package except for ultra running?

Once home I shower and return to 'normal' life seeing just a hint of a glow around everything now, like an aura. My outlook is just a little brighter, my mind just a little less occupied. I can be more patient with my kids. I can NOT chase down the kids that ding-dong ditched us just as the baby fell asleep (more to prove that I can catch them rather than actually being mad). I help my older daughter with homework, I help my husband with dinner, I fold laundry, and then I work on homework. After all of that I sit down to write this post. It's amazing how productive and happy that 2 hour break from life made me. And that's why ultra runners rule!

But just in case you need more convincing:

You know you're an ultra runner if:

-You don't think twice about eating food off the floor

-You can say (or apply!) Body Glide with a straight face

-You have actually eaten salt (not as a seasoning but on it's own!)

-You run a warm up and cool down for a marathon

-You run your age in miles on your birthday (or birthday weekend)

-Your runs are limited by how much time you have rather than your fitness

-You have run with a light strapped to your head

-You have at least one black and/or missing toenail

-You carry running clothes to work or wear them under your suit

-You rotate your shoes more often than your tires

-You drink from a water bottle at the dinner table

-You leave work early to run!

Have a great night everyone and keep being 'different'! (It is what I love about you!) I'm off to check off my last to-do: rest! Don't forget to enter the charity giveaway/raffle before midnight! I still need to raise $240 to meet my goal! You can donate here!

Stress Less, or How I Avoid Throat Punching Jerks

It's been a horrible week at work. I found out from a client that my coworker has been badmouthing me and the company at every opportunity. I'm not sure what I did to this person, my boss suggested it was a sarcastic comment I made some months ago. All I know is that in my life I have never taken a crude comment or gesture from another employee as a ticket to try to ruin their career.

I've spoken with my manager, the Human Resources Manager, the Lead Project Manager and everyone short of the President about this situation hoping to find some relief. All I've found is that they are reluctant to let this bonehead go. It's painfully clear to me that my position and contributions aren't of any value if they are willing to continue to employ someone who would undermine my actions and the company's at every opportunity. I made it clear to my boss that next week I would be waiting for a decision, jerk or me. There's not enough room in the cube farm for both of us.

Now I sit and wait... and worry. I worry because I don't want to put my family in financial stress. I worry because I don't want to have a bad mark on my employment record. I worry because I don't know that I'll have a job Monday morning. I worry because the stress is taking a toll on me mentally and physically. And when something is stressful enough that it takes a toll on my running I know that I have to do something to handle it. I haven't been eating or sleeping properly and my left knee is still giving me grief. I'm starting to think it's psychological.

Thankfully, my husband made plans to get me out of the house and onto the trails this weekend. There's a group of runners in our area that I've begun to think of as the 'regulars'. I'm not sure that my husband and I fall into this group but I'd like to think so. These are the faces I see at every race and the names I hear in every running conversation. They're the runners that always have plans, races and food for everyone. The plan today was for everyone to meet in a park not too far from our home and run 10 miles.

The best part about this plan is that my husband has never done more than 5 miles. The 'race' was a 2 mile out and back on a trail going one direction and then a 3 mile out and back going the opposite direction. My husband said he was planning to stop after the first 4 miles. When I reached the 4 mile mark and didn't see him waiting I figured I missed him. Turns out he decided he could do the whole thing and amazingly he did, still faster than me, in 1:25.

I finished in 1:40 and felt pretty good with that. According to my Garmin it was 10.1 miles which works out to a 9:56 average pace. Maybe I can pull off this 4:19 marathon afterall?! My stomach was not happy and my knee was aching but overall I felt more relaxed than I've felt in the last 5 days. I really needed that run and the company too.

So hopefully I'll be back next week with a lower stress level one way or another. And I'll also be back to announce the winners of my IAFF Charity Raffle! So don't forget to make your donation and get those last entries! Then in February I'll be coming up with some more fun ways to benefit this fantastic cause! So help me out if you can and run a mile for me while you're at it please?!

XOXO