Week 2 Progress

I am officially in my third week of getting back on track and I'm feeling pretty good about my progress. Like any journey there are setbacks for every step forward. This weekend I had my daughters and it was cold and rainy. This meant we stayed in and watched movies.... and snacked. I did my best to keep everything in moderation but it also felt good to relax for a day.

So what were the actual results of the week? Well I am 153.4 pounds as of this morning which is a 1.4 pound loss from last week. I actually ended up raising my calories this week because the weight is dropping quickly. I ate roughly 15,000 calories, or 2,150 per day. I've continued lifting heavy and set my sights on possibly competing in a power lifting competition in May instead of doing the NPC Mid-Atlantic Cup again.

Starting to see some definition again

 Abs are slowly reappearing

My workouts this week were as follows:

Monday

Squats:

4 warm-up sets of 10 reps increasing weight each set

5 x 5 increasing weight each set (I ended at 190 lbs)

Reverse Hack Squat

5 x 10 x 180 lbs (not counting the starting weight of the sled)

Leg Press 

5 x 15 x 90 lbs (not counting the starting weight of the sled)

Calf Raise

5 x 15 x 155 lbs

Wednesday

Bench Press:

4 warm-up sets

1 heavy set of 3 reps

4 heavy sets of 2 reps (I PR'd with 115 pounds)

Incline DB Press:

10 x 10 x 25 pound DB's

Shrugs:

5 x 7 x 160 pounds

Dips:

5 x 15 with 60 pounds of assistance

Thursday

Treadmill 4.0 MPH for 10 minutes

Overhead Press:

8 x 30 pounds

2 x 8 x 50 pounds

5 x 60 pounds

3 x 70 pounds

4 x 2 x 80 pounds

Lateral Raise

10 x 10 x 10 lb dumbbells

Cable Front Raise

5 x 7 x 15 pounds

Treadmill 20 minutes inclined at 4.0 MPH

Friday

Treadmill 4.0 MPH for 15 minutes

Deadlifts

5 warm-up sets

5 x 5 x 235 pounds

Deficit Deadlifts

5 x 7 x 185 pounds

Lying Hamstring Curls

5 x 10 x 80 pounds

Barbell Rows

4 x 10 x 95 pounds

Sunday

Supersets of biceps and triceps:

DB curls w/ skullcrushers

4 sets of 8 - 12

Rope curls with rope pushdowns

3 sets of 8 - 12

Incline hammer curls with bench dips

3 sets of 8 - 12

Shoulders:

Plate front raise superset with plate upright row

3 sets of 10

Facepulls

3 sets of 10 - 15

And now it's on to week 3 and planning nutrition to get me to the under-148 pound weight class by May 28th!

Meal Prep Essentials

I promise to post my week 2 progress tomorrow! But first I received some questions on meal prep and how to make food that isn't boring as well as time consuming. So here are my week 3 meals and a breakdown on what I consider the essential tools to make prep easy and quick (and tasty!).

First, I recommend investing in a set of containers that will hold a full meal and fit in your lunch bag. I purchased this set from Isolator Fitness but there are many other brands. Tight fitting lids are essential! Second, a scale, measuring cups, and an array of knives. This is about all you will need!

On to preparing actual food! My absolute favorite tools are my pressure cooker, rice cooker, and NutriBullet (but any decent blender will do). I can make 3-4 pounds of chicken in the pressure cooker in only 20 minutes or so. I simply throw in the chicken and some marinade, set it, and forget it! The rice cooker makes several cups to perfection in 15 or so minutes plus has a basket for steaming veggies while your rice cooks! And finally, the blender takes the place of a mixer and also makes some delicious protein shakes.

Using only these tools I can complete my meal prep in 1-2 hours for 4-5 days worth of meals. This week I chose to make protein pancakes for easy breakfasts. I will add the recipe below. My second meal is a venison burger with buffalo cauliflower. The final meal I prepped is chicken (prepared in the pressure cooker) with a side of either frozen veggies and rice or sweet potato (baked in the oven). Dinners will likely be salmon and veggies prepared fresh each night. I also packed tuna packets, almonds, and Quest bars into my lunch bag for snacks. Since the rice cooker, pressure cooker, oven, and stove top can all be going at the same time I didn't have to do anything more then get each one started and cook the burgers and sweet potato while I waited. 

Four days of meals ready to go

I hope this helps anyone struggling with meal prep. I will start sharing recipes from now on as I favor simple, flavorful cooking to anything over the top. I think it will help those of you who are new to this see that you don't have to get food-blogger-fancy to eat healthfully!

Protein Pancakes

Ingredients:

2 ripe bananas (I used over-ripe ones that I had frozen)

3/4 cup egg whites (about 4 eggs worth)

1/2 cup quick cook oats

1 1/2 - 2 scoops of whey (I used MyProtein Rocky Road flavor)

4 TBSP flour (I used regular bread flour but feel free to substitute)

1/2 cup coffee, brewed

1 Tsp. baking powder

Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients in a blender

2. Heat skillet or griddle with oil (I used coconut oil)

3. Measure out 1/2 cup of batter into hot skillet

4. Cook until bubbles form and burst 

5. Flip and continue to cook 1-2 minutes

Makes six 1/2 cup pancakes. Freeze leftovers and spritz with water then heat in the microwave for 30 seconds to serve later. Top with PB2, sugar free syrup, or fresh fruit.

Grocery Haul

One of the things I keep hearing is how hard nutrition seems to everyone. The 'fitness' industry has led you to believe there are bad foods and good foods and super foods. There are expensive shakes and oils and exotic produce that you 'must' eat in order to achieve your dreams. Fats make you fat. Or is it carbs? And this is why people give up...

I decided to take anyone who is interested through a typical shopping trip for me. Let me note that I already had hit up a sale on seafood a couple weeks ago so my freezer is loaded with salmon, tilapia, and tuna. I also already had a large lot of locally sourced ground beef in my freezer. So this grocery trip is light on meat but otherwise fairly typical. So let's take a look at what I brought home.

General grocery store tips:
The outside of the store is where you want to purchase the bulk of your food. The meat/seafood counter and coolers, the dairy/egg section, and produce. Generally most things that come in a box or a can are not the best choices. The exception to this is generally coffee, oatmeal, healthy fats like coconut oil, or tuna and salmon (in cans or packets). Frozen fruits and veggies are fine.

Produce:
I typically buy about equal parts of fresh produce and frozen. I'd rather not have to make trips to the store every 2-3 days for fresh fruits and veggies. This trip I picked up blueberries (I had a coupon), grapes, avocado, almonds, spinach, frozen broccoli (I also used a coupon for this), and frozen cauliflower (buffalo flavored for something different). I usually wouldn't buy grapes but I had a coupon for them and my daughter loves them. She will also help me eat the spinach!

Proteins:

As I stated above, I have a pretty large freezer stash of meat and fish currently. So I only picked up a few things. Two packages of chicken breasts (they were buy one, get one free), two packages of turkey bacon, two cartons of eggs (I use these for cooking and baking and egg whites. I have local farm eggs for eating.), peanut butter, and tuna packets (because I had coupons and they are super convenient). 

Dairy and Snacks:

I purchased my usual Silk unsweetened vanilla almond milk (coupon) and Arctic Zero faux ice cream (because it can satisfy a craving without blowing my diet). I had coupons for the creamer, oatmeal, Greek yogurt, and cheese (the two smaller cheese packages are chevre, or goat cheese). I also bought coffee, chipotle mustard (I need flavor in my life!), and sugar-free Jell-o (because I can also snack on this when I want sweets and not blow my entire day of eating). The real ice cream I had a great coupon for, so I went ahead and got it, but I will try to stick to a spoonful or two at a time. And finally, Quest bars! These are my go-to snack for taking to the gym or work or in the car. Any time I can't have a real meal I pack a Quest bar (my favorite flavor is the s'more!).

This grocery haul was around $125 after coupons (and that includes some household items I didn't picture). It should last me two weeks or more in combination with what I already have. I'll stop at the store for fresh produce again over the weekend and that should be all of my shopping until next payday (two weeks). I hope this is helpful for anyone struggling with navigating the grocery store!

So how does this become a meal? Well, my 'dinner' (or last meal) today was two eggs (local ones, not the ones I purchased), six slices of turkey bacon, half of an avocado, and an ounce of tomato basil chevre. For a little over 600 calories I topped off with protein and healthy fats. (I didn't hit the gym today so I ate lower carbs.) I prepared burgers with the ground beef I already had and paired them with the buffalo cauliflower for the next several days. I cooked one package of chicken breasts in the pressure cooker with a honey teriyaki marinade and froze the other. The chicken was paired with frozen California blend veggies. Dinners will likely consist of fish from my freezer stash and fresh produce. Breakfast will be something similar to my dinner today or oats and berries. And snacks may be tuna packets, Quest bars, or almonds. 

Thank you for following along. If there is anything you want to know about food shopping, nutrition, or meal planning drop me a comment below! 

Week 1 Results

I apologize for this being a day late. I was unexpectedly scheduled for ten hour shifts this week. But on to the good stuff!

My first week of cutting and increasing my workouts has yielded good results. I ate a little more than I had planned with 14,037 calories for the week (2,005/day). However, my workouts were very intense (more on that in a second) and I still lost 2.4 pounds (154.8 pounds). Likely a good  portion of this initial loss was water weight from cutting out processed carbs and junk food. Only another week will tell!

 154.8 pounds

Building a nice V-taper

I've been focusing on more power lifting-style strength workouts with accessory lifts that will build up my physique. This means lower reps with heavy weight for my main lifts (squat, deadlift, bench press, overhead press) and lower weight and higher reps for my accessory lifts. I did a quick shoulder session plus 15 minutes of cardio on Tuesday. I believe it consisted of overhead press, front barbell raise, dumbbell lateral raise, front plate raise, and upright barbell rows. I was in a rush and did not write down what I actually did.

Wednesday I benched with a friend of mine. He is competing in a power lifting competition in May and has agreed to help me train for strength and size. Our workout was:

Warmup: Walk on treadmill 10 minutes

Bench Press:

8 x Bar (45 pounds)

5 x 5 @ 75, 95, 95, 105, 100 pounds

Incline dumbbell press:

10 x 10 with 20 pound dumbbells

Shrugs:

5 x 7 @ 135, 135, 135, 155, 155

Dips:

5 x 15 (I used 60 lbs on the assisted dip machine)

Friday I met my friend again for deadlifts and posterior chain (back) training. My workout was as follows:

Deadlifts:

8 x 135 pounds, 8 x 185 pounds

3 x 225 pounds

4 sets of 2 x 225 pounds

5 x 185 pounds

5 sets of 3 at 185 pounds

Deficit Deadlifts (standing on a 45 lb plate):

5 x 7 @ 135, 185, 185, 185, 185

Hamstring Curls:

4 sets of 10 @ 45 pounds

10 x 60 pounds

Barbell Rows:

4 sets of 10 x 95 pounds

On Saturday I went hiking in Ohiopyle with my boyfriend and his dog. We spent about an hour and a half doing a 4 mile hike out to see waterfalls and then back to the car. And on Sunday we went to see the Pirates vs. Cardinals season opener. There may have been some beers involved but I kept it to a minimum and we brought our own food to the tailgate and ate again at home after the game. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and we saved money too!

Ohiopyle hiking selfie

Some examples of my nutrition this week would be tuna, Greek yogurt, and lots of veggies. I also ate a good bit of salmon, beef, and chicken as well as sweet potato. I felt like this whole week was really hectic and didn't allow for much meal prep so I kept it simple and quick most days.

 Mediterranean Style Tuna (from a packet), California blend veggies, and Greek yogurt

Salmon (marinated in soy sauce and ginger) with wilted spinach and strawberries

For week 2 I plan to drop my calories just a little lower (maybe 1,900 per day average) and continue to workout 4-5 days per week. I'd like to add in more cardio but that will depend on how I feel and my work schedule. I always start my workouts with 10-15 minutes of cardio but I would prefer to get a solid 20-30 minutes at least 3 times per week for health and the extra calorie burn. 

And that concludes week one of my return to fitness! Please comment and share if you are following along! 

Week 0 - Getting Started

I wanted to start off with the basics of how I'm setting up my cutting program and some ideas of what and how much I'm eating. Everyone is different and I've found that I need to eat more than most women my size. Using a standard TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) calculator online I get a TDEE of just over 2,100 calories per day. So what does that mean? Well it means that I should consume an average of 2,100 calories per day to maintain my weight.

I track my daily and weekly calories (2,100 calories x 7 days = 14,700 calories/week) because it leaves more wiggle room to eat a little more or a little less each day as my appetite (or social engagements) demands. The common calculation is to subtract 3,500 calories per week (500 per day) to lose a pound per week. Half that to lose half a pound per week, which is my goal. So, my calculations say I should eat 1,850 calories per day or 12,950 per week (2,100 - 250 = 1,850) to lose 0.5 pounds every 7 days. But I have found this doesn't hold true for me. On 13,000 calories per week I was losing closer to 1.5 pounds every week. I'm not sure if it's because I work a somewhat physical job or if I just have more muscle or a higher metabolism than estimated. So I'm eating 'at maintenance' (2,100 calories per day) for now to see if and how my weight changes over the next couple weeks. I will adjust up or down as necessary to reach my goal loss of 0.5 - 1 pound each week.

The next step in making my comeback was cleaning out my fridge. All of the Easter candy and goodies are gone. There is no junk food in my house AT ALL. I know that I like to eat when I'm stressed or anxious so I have taken away the unhealthy options and replaced them with Quest Bars and Arctic Zero 'ice cream'. I also got back to meal prepping.

My fridge

My current food situation consists of oats, eggs, egg whites, strawberries, Greek yogurt, chicken, beef, sweet potato, rice, asparagus, broccoli, spinach, almond milk, rice cakes, almonds, peanut butter, and coffee. I haven't committed to a set 'meal plan' for this week but I did prepare meals for breakfast and work each day to make staying on track easier. 

Breakfast is usually oats and berries plus a protein shake

Lunch was a 3 oz. lean beef burger with rice and asparagus

Dinner was another burger with peanut butter and sweet potato

My snacks, or smaller meals, consist of things like chicken with veggies, a Quest bar, or 1-2 rice cakes and almonds. I also drink 3-4 liters of water each day and take a multivitamin, fish oil, vitamin D, and a probiotic. Making sure that I get plenty of protein, healthy fats, and all of the necessary nutrients is my top priority for ensuring my metabolism and weight return to normal (and stay healthy).

This is long enough (and probably boring). I will write more about my workouts in my first update post and cover how I decide what adjustments to make to my nutrition. If I missed anything or didn't explain it well enough just drop a note in the comments and I will make sure I cover it in my next post! 

Finally, thank you to everyone who took the time to read and respond to my initial post. It isn't easy to admit I'm struggling and that I don't look and feel my best right now. But I know that I can help people if I swallow my pride and bare my progress for the world. It means more than you'll ever know that so many of you have reached out and offered support and kind words. <3 p="">

Fit to Fat to Fit In Real Life

I'm sure everyone has seen or heard about the show Fit to Fat to Fit. If not, well, its basic premise is a personal trainer/fitness professional purposely becomes overweight and then loses it alongside their client. I have enjoyed the episode or two I managed to catch but I never thought I would be the 'fat' trainer. And yet here I am.

I set a goal of competing again this year in May. I worked out and ate well but in excess up until the new year. I weighed in around 142 pounds over the holidays. My goal was to put on as much muscle as possible and then cut down to stage ready from mid-January to mid-May. Then I would go through with peak week preparations and step on stage to better my standings from last year.

Warning: If you are squeamish then you may want to skip the next paragraph.

We all know the saying about the best laid plans... I became consumed with seeing how lean I could get. I averaged 1.5-2 pounds a week lost. While this rate of loss is considered safe medically it was too extreme when I was already fairly lean. I dropped down to 129 pounds around Valentine's Day and I estimated I was at 13.8% body fat. With over three months to my show date it was too early to be so close to stage ready. I started to experience problems with overwhelming cravings, extreme hunger, and then my periods stopped. I decided to put some weight back on and reevaluate my competition readiness after 4-6 weeks.

129 pounds

What I didn't expect was how hard my body would rebound. At first I assumed a good bit of the gain was water weight. But the scale kept jumping up... and up and up. My clothes got tighter and people started to notice. I was still happy with how I looked but I worried that I had done metabolic damage with my cut. I finally plateaued at 157 pounds. The heaviest I have ever been.

157 pounds

Now that my body has finally stabilized again I am ready to take off the excess weight at a more reasonable pace. I have planned out meals and calculated my calories needs to lose 0.5-1 pound a week this time. I may not step on stage in May but my ultimate goal is to be healthy and happy. Thankfully I'm still pretty comfortable in my own skin at this weight.

I decided to share my journey back to health and fitness here in hopes of helping someone else. Shows like the one I mentioned only gloss over the details. I want to share every last bit of my journey from meal planning and prepping to workouts to progress pictures. My goal is to share weekly updates for anyone who is interested but also to motivate myself. 

Please leave me a comment if there is anything you would like me to share this weekend when I post my first update! Let's get on track to our summer (and beyond!) bodies together. 

Chasing Rainbows

I haven't blogged at all yet this year. In fact, I haven't done much yet this year. Please don't think that I am insinuating that I have been lazy or given up by any means. I simply have taken time to work on myself and reevaluate my dreams and goals in order to build a plan. Normal life (beyond work and the gym and raising children) took a backseat.

I took my nutrition and training back to the drawing board and overhauled everything. I'm keeping a close log of how every change affects my overall package. I have brought my posing back to basics in hopes of having a much better presentation when I finally do compete again. I have kept my focus on building muscle while keeping my body fat down. Now I am finally beginning to 'cut' and start to get into stage shape.

Meanwhile, I have also been working on designing a career path. I have spent ten years in my industry and gathered certifications and qualifications that should be worth quite a bit to the right employer. I have put a lot of thought into what the 'right' job would look like for me versus how I can be of the most value to an employer. I have made an effort to make my current position take the shape of my vision but have not been able to work with my current company to see it through. I'm in negotiations with another company and I hope that I'll be able to make that announcement shortly. I pray it will be the last career change I have to make!

Lastly, I have been working on myself. I have been single for almost eight months now. That's not exactly a long time but it has been enough to clearly see where I can make progress on a personal level. I've always treated happiness and success as destinations to be reached instead of transient events/feelings that occur in the moment. Instead of focusing on these things (which our society places so much value on), I have been working on building my values and morals. I'm not going to espouse that I'm some great theologian now but I'm doing some reading and lots of listening. I've visited churches and schools and talked to friends, family, and the 'professionals' about every topic I can think of. And, while this journey will never be complete, I'm happy to say that I think my current progress will lead to the ability to have a fundamentally happy life through living true to myself. And one day maybe I can share it with a partner that is taking the same journey of self-exploration and growth.

I have missed emptying the thoughts rattling around my head onto a blank screen. And I miss the feedback that my blog received. Most of all I long for the friendships it kindled with people who related to my ramblings. So I'm going to make an honest effort to begin blogging regularly again. I'm not exactly sure of how often or how much but I want to share my journey to the stage and beyond with everyone who encouraged me to take the first steps back in 2014. I wouldn't have made it this far without you all.

Happy Leap Day friends! I'll be back soon!

Calories In Vs. Calories Out? Not so fast!

December is here and, if you're anything like me, you've been thinking (or trying to avoid it) about all the goals you didn't meet and what you want to do better in the new year. I've talked about the problems with New Year's resolutions before and I've made the same mistakes as everyone else. So for 2016 I have been doing my homework and making a plan.

What kind of plan? Well, I kind of want to compete again if the stars align. I wasn't lean or built enough in May. My placings were disappointing and I felt overall miserable about the whole experience. Since then I have dropped the coaches I was working with and started putting in the time and effort to learn enough to be my own coach. Obviously, being a certified personal trainer, I can put together an exercise plan but I knew I had to go deeper. I need to understand how my diet, my lifting, my cardio, and even my sleep patterns affect everything down to a hormonal and cellular level.

I read every study I could get my hands on. I talked to competitors I admired and those that I didn't want to emulate. I took their advice back to the books and tried to figure out the why behind how it worked (or didn't). After learning so much (and still having so much more to go) I decided to share some of what I've found to help my fellow athletes and those who just want to look or feel better in the new year. If you're ready to throw out everything you've ever believed about losing weight then keep reading.

Every diet (I hate that word) starts with counting calories. As long as you eat less than you burn you'll lose weight, right? WRONG! Studies show that people who restrict their energy (calorie) intake long term will basically adjust to the new 'normal'. Hormones like leptin, insulin, testosterone, and T3 (a thyroid hormone) will all decrease. The 'bad' hormones, ghrelin and cortisol, which encourage fat storage, will increase. Over time you have to eat less and less to continue losing weight until your body is in a chronic state of starvation and you can no longer maintain your 'diet'. You will inevitably overeat at some point and gain weight quickly because your metabolism is in the toilet.

This is where calorie cycling and refeeding come into play. Periodic refeeding (having that cheat meal or dessert) can increase the hormones that encourage fat loss temporarily. Taking this a step further, refeeds should happen on a day that you lift weights. Why? Because then your body uses those extra calories to preserve muscle (or even build a little bit more) instead of storing them as fat. Keeping your caloric intake on rest days lower than on training days will further balance out the refeeds and keep fat loss steady.

This still doesn't mean you can starve yourself the rest of the time. A weekly loss of no more than 0.7% of your weight is ideal. So, at 140 pounds, this would be 1 pound a week. As you get smaller, the amount you can safely lose without sacrificing lean mass (muscle) will also shrink. This is why a long, slow 'cut' is much better than a crash diet. I made this mistake (well, my coaches did) during my competition prep. I lost 12.5 pounds in 25 days going into my show and I was tired, weak, and mean. It took months for me to regain the strength I lost and find my motivation again. And I still didn't look as good as the other girls on that stage. So, overall, I gained nothing from the deprivation and misery.

Any bodybuilder or powerlifter will tell you that decreasing your weight will also decrease your performance. One way to fight back against this is to consume most of your carbs each day around your workout. Carbohydrates are turned into glycogen and used for energy during exercise. When your carbs run out so does your motivation, strength, and performance. Make sure your body is supplied with enough energy to get through each workout and don't do cardio before weights. Studies have shown that cardio, especially HIIT (high intensity interval training), will leave your muscles too fatigued for resistance training. 

The summary of all of my research basically comes down to what you likely already knew. Losing fat is a long, slow process. Eat enough, but not too much, and exercise often. If you were looking for the shortcut to your dream body I'm sorry to tell you that there is no legal method that will get you there any faster than good old-fashioned hard work and commitment. So get to planning ahead for your 2016 goals and, by 2017, you'll probably be shopping for a new wardrobe.

Dating Problems Only Female Bodybuilders Understand

It's finally your rest day. Not knowing what to do with your life you grudgingly agree to a night out with your girls. They feel you are lacking in something they refer to as a 'social life'. "Doesn't sarcastically smiling at the creeper in the mirror at the gym count as socializing?", you wonder. But no one else agrees so you allow them to drag you to the hottest new club playing music that makes you wish for a shot of preworkout and a barbell.

Only halfway through your first vodka on the rocks (gotta watch those carbs!) you are wondering if makeup and heels were originally designed as torture devices. Next thing you know some DYEL is grinding on your booty and muttering something about 'toned' and 'thick thighs'. You know you could hulk smash him but the next thing out of his mouth stops you mid-swing. "Can I buy you dinner?", he yells over the music. Before you can even finish your enthusiastic nod, you find yourself out the door. Somehow you find yourself sitting on his couch with an empty takeout container in front of you and an overeager dadbod hipster drooling on your neck. Then the real struggle begins:

1) Because you wore a sports bra

He's fumbling around looking for a clasp that doesn't exist and you absently wonder if you should buy some 'real' lingerie. Quickly dismissing that thought, you take pity and pull your sports bra off yourself, wincing at the shoulder DOMS from yesterday's workout. Your new meal ticket's face falls as he realizes there isn't actually any appreciable boobage hiding under your sweaty sportswear. But he quickly recovers and moves on to appreciating the bountiful squat booty instead.

2) Maybe you should have showered

Like most fit chicks, you've adopted the mantra that women don't sweat, they sparkle. Unnecessary showers take valuable time away from things like lifting and eating. You try to remember the last time you washed your hair or shaved, and fail. Maybe he will be so in awe of your physique that he won't notice you feel, and smell, like a gorilla. Quickly pushing him onto the bed you realize your mistake because

3) You're stronger than he is

He screams in agony clutching his concave chest where you gently (or so you thought) pushed him. You vacillate between assisting him and disgust. Your mind can't quite wrap around the realization that this skinny being has larger breasts than you. "Has this beta, PBR drinking, vegan cellar dweller ever picked up anything heavier than his Starbucks cup?", you wonder as you grasp wildly for a way to save the evening, but

4) Your metabolism won't wait for anyone

As you mumble a half-hearted apology your stomach lets out a roar like a chainsaw. A glance at the bedside clock reminds you that you're late for meal 6. You contemplate cannibalism but throw that idea out the window. There's no way this skinny fat missing link would fit your macros. Quickly fumbling for your clothes, you mutter an excuse about your grandmother's cat and stumble to the door to call an Uber while visions of peanut butter dance through your mind.

5) Getting laid is no longer worth the hassle

Finally home, you throw your heels into the darkest depths of the closet and dive into the sweats you left on the floor hours earlier. As your tupperware of chicken and broccoli rotates more slowly than paint drying you notice the coupon code for that new line of sportswear on the fridge. Ordering some new gear is just what you need to forget tonight! Sinking into the couch with a shaker bottle and a Quest bar, you feel grateful that the gym will always love you, no matter how bad you smell or how many callouses you have.Cardio would only ruin your gains anyway.


*Disclaimer: This post was created as a counterpoint to doyoueven.com's satirical article on the male perspective. Have a sense of humor!

Bro-conomics

I have been on the fence deciding between returning to the gym or the roads. Marathon training through the winter sounded terrible, especially since I would have to run in the dark before or after work, as well as struggling to fit in long runs on weekends with the kids. I printed out a training schedule, ran the first two weeks, and then decided it wasn't for me this season.

I started spending time with a fellow bodybuilder and began to miss lifting heavy (and having visible muscles). One week back in the gym and I'm reminded why training alone was so hard through my first prep. Just like the saying you are what you eat, you also are who you hang out with. Which brings me to the latest life lesson I must preach...

Bulking is evidence of trickle down economics. When one person bulks, everyone in their sphere of influence bulks. When you have dinner with a bodybuilder on a dirty bulk that dinner may consist of a pizza, two Primanti's sandwiches, a giant frosted brownie, and a couple large beers. Everything they can't have on a cut is on the menu and portion sizes are a laughable recommendation. Their food scale is getting less action than the average Comi-Con geek and their bathroom scales are hiding in terror.

This orgy of consumption slowly turns into them storing food in your fridge, insisting on making dinner (because chicken and broccoli again isn't cutting it), and suggesting horrible dining options regularly. Next thing you know you're eating right along with them. Then you're shopping list starts to look like you've never heard of macros or IIFYM. And then you're looking at the dog and thinking how he deserves some of these treats. He's looking a little skinny. And maybe the fish too... 

And inevitably, you wake up to the truth one day. You're bulking by association. And it's AWESOME!

NPC Mid-Atlantic Cup Championships Recap

I've been thinking about getting around to writing this since May. It's been a crazy four months since my first NPC show and I should probably get this done before I start trying to get back to writing about running and my new passion, acro.

If you follow me on FaceBook then you know that I lost A LOT of weight going into the show. The last week I was eating only chicken, ground turkey, and asparagus for six meals a day. I was drinking 1-2 gallons of water per day while taking over-the-counter diuretics to pull the water from between my skin and muscle. I had to go for spray tanning three times leading into my debut and I still could have been darker. I booked my makeup artist and received my bikini. I already had my heels and jewelry and wig. I also had to get a mani/pedi. Needless to say I was running on empty and on the verge of losing it at any second the last few weeks.

The morning of the show I checked in and got my tan touched up. I had my makeup done and got changed into my bikini and heels. I would spend most of the day only covered by a short and very sheer robe. About an hour before my first class, the open division, went on all of us were shuffled into a tiny, hot changing room. We were all struggling to adjust straps and glue our suits in place (no one wants to see THAT wardrobe malfunction). There was last minute posing practices and pumping up. Girls were eating poptarts and mini candy bars to get a carb pump. And there was a team with the tanning company rubbing us all down with oil. I can only imagine that I should have been embarrassed or shy but I was too excited.

It was finally time to step on stage and I watched the first several girls walk out and pose. Finally my name was called and I thought for sure I would freak out. Thankfully all those months of practice took over and I posed perfectly with a huge grin on my face. I had a blast and felt like it was over in only seconds.

We were ushered back off the stage and back into the changing room and cycled back out for my second division (Novice). It went just as quickly and I was then facing hours of down time before finals that night. Based on my stage placement during the morning show I knew I probably hadn't placed in my classes so I wasn't too worried about getting touched up for finals.

 My coach instructed me to go grab a burger and relax. I happily complied by devouring a burger and some sweet potato fries at Burgatory before heading back to the venue. I felt really out of place being ridiculously tan, too skinny, and made up like a hooker. Everyone was staring at me and all I could think about was trying not to drool on myself waiting for food.

The evening show was just as hectic and fast paced as the morning. Shuffle through the changing room twice, get glued into my suit, have my chest/stomach/butt oiled, then stand in line to be rushed across the stage. The only difference this time was awards were given before we were hustled back off. I placed 8th in the Open division. I couldn't believe it and I was really sad but I still had another class to go so I returned to the line and went through it all again.

I placed third in the novice class. Of course, I still can't be satisfied with anything so, as soon as I was off the stage, I went to the bathroom and cried as I changed into my celebration dress. After a few minutes I pulled myself together and returned to Sean and my family outside. We snapped a few pics of me with my short sword and then it was off to Fuel & Fuddle for dinner with no restraints! That was by far my favorite part of the whole experience!

After the show, I found that there was so much pressure to return to 'normal' eating. Sean was tired of me meal prepping and saying no to beers or dessert every day. My friends and family wanted to go out since I had been reclusive for so long. Before I knew it I was bloated and chubby. I put on about 15-20 pounds in a matter of a week or two. It took me another week or two to reel myself in but then I got back on track.

My breakup a couple months later left me reeling again. But once I recovered I found that my passion for eating clean was renewed. I have now dropped back down to near my stage weight (about 123-125 pounds). I honestly would consider competing again now except for a few things. First, it is expensive. I easily spent a few thousand dollars throughout prep and the competition. Second, I can't have a social life while training that intensely and I have come to value my close friendships too much to sacrifice them again. And lastly, I have fallen in love with acro (and started running again). I can do acro for 5-6 hours a day on the weekend, come home covered in bruises, and still want to do it again the next day. 

So instead of doing what I'm 'good' at I have chosen what makes me happy. I do acro with my friends 2-3 days each week, run 5-6 days, and try to get out for a cheat meal, beer, and some conversation at least once a week. I may never have a perfect six pack ever again but I do have all of the best intangible things life has to offer now.

Relationship Goals

Have you seen these stupid memes? I mean, relationships need goals but not the kind that have to do with eating junk food and buying matching crap. Or maybe I'm just being pessimistic.

Many things Everything has changed since I last posted. In a matter of a couple hours I went from engaged to single. I was left with my head spinning and my heart broken. I ached for the future that no longer existed. I hurt for my kids to lose someone they had come to adore. I tortured myself over what I should have, could have, done differently.

And then, one day, I woke up without feeling like a hole had been punched through my chest. I tried dating and found it held little interest. I made a lot of new friends but that was it. The whole affair felt like too much effort. And then I realized why. I'd finally found the right person... Me.

Not to be cliche, but yet totally cliche. I started running again. I started lifting again. I fell head over heels in love with acro yoga and aerial play. I began to eat again and then I began to meal prep and experiment with my farm share each week. I rearranged my apartment and hung up new pictures. Pictures of me and my new (and old) friends. I went to see concerts and eat at new restaurants. I took bike rides in my underwear with 500 other crazy people. Boating, swimming, and tubing happened along with a trip to the wave pool. I did yoga in Market Square. I was LIVING.

Life is once again bountiful

Die Antwoord easily earns my vote for craziest concert ever!

I learned to invert myself on aerial silks

 I managed to hang from a lyra on an aerial rig

Pittsburgh Undies Ride

Who doesn't want to hang by their neck?

New friends and water sports

I lost a lot of my zest for life and motivation after my competition. I'll recap all that happened in those final weeks and immediately after soon. But I've found something much bigger in the aftermath. I've found the one person who won't let me down. She makes sure I get up early to get to work before I'm scheduled so I can rise through the ranks in my career. She encourages me to try new things, like taking an acro class on Monday nights. If I need a spotter at the gym or a running partner, she's right there. And when I'd rather fall asleep on the couch than stay up for a concert she pushes me out the door.

Maybe it's hokey or maybe I finally found the missing piece that was actually there all along. All I know is, this relationship has goals, BIG ones. And you'll just have to stick around to see where they take me!

Honey, We're Home!

Sean and I officially live in the same state now! We picked up a U-haul on Wednesday morning and were on the road by 2PM. Unfortunately, we hit a snowstorm in West Virginia that lasted until we reached Pennsylvania around 3AM Thursday morning. We slept for a few hours and then unpacked the U-haul before heading downtown for my mother's birthday celebration.

Needless to say, it was a long day and we were both exhausted. We made some poor food choices and I definitely did not drink enough water. I didn't miss any workouts though! My coaches are surely disappointed but they gave me my plan for next week and I'm back on point. I also chose my show date: May 16 for the NPC Mid-Atlantic Cup Championships. If you're interested in attending the information is here.

Loaded and ready to roll

The rest of the update is in my latest vlog so check it out!

Forging The Future

Life is kind of like metal. Sometimes it's fluid and moving along. And sometimes it gets hard and it feels like you're stuck. Either way it's beautiful and tough. And it makes an amazing circle that can bond two people forever.

Sean's ring

Sean asked his friend to make the ring he will wear, conceivably for the rest of our lives. It arrived today and it's gorgeous! I can't thank Barefoot Forge enough for creating this work of art. You can also find them on Facebook here. Please give them a like and follow if amazing, handcrafted jewelry is of interest to you.

Handcrafted Damascus Steel Rings from Barefoot Forge

In other big news, I finally have a show date. I chose the NPC Mid-Atlantic Cup Championships on May 16. That puts me at roughly 11 weeks out right now! I'm really happy with my gains so far but I'm worried about leaning out. I'm trusting my coaches to guide me through all of this and I know everything will be just perfect if I stick to their plan!

Me - December 1, 2014

Me - Today

I've ordered my bikini and competition jewelry. I have my heels. It's all so real now. But first, I'm off to South Carolina to move my future husband back to PA! So, if I happen to be MIA this week, please forgive me. WE will be home next weekend! 

Have a wonderful week fit fam!

You Can't Match My Hustle

I'm not one to let the opinions of others change me. If I was I probably wouldn't be rocking a hairstyle that's been compared to the Misfits or have six tattoos. I wouldn't have kept my pregnancy and baby at 19 and begun working in the 'man's field' of industrial radiography at 21. I wouldn't have bought my first home that same year or graduated college while working 80 hours per week on a power plant outage. I've never had things 'easy' and I never expected anything to be handed to me. I work for what I have and I work even harder for what I want to have in the future.

Tell me again how much you hate your job

As of writing this, I took control of my life 104 days ago. I walked into Anytime Fitness on November 10, 2014 and signed a contract that changed EVERYTHING. Over the last 15 weeks I have quit smoking and stopped drinking. That's right... completely dropped those bad habits. I overhauled my nutrition and turned my lifestyle on its head. I'm too busy keeping track of how many ounces of water I've consumed to worry about petty things and I'm not just content with my life anymore. I'm on the verge of joy at almost any moment.

I am looking forward to goofing off with this man for the rest of my life

Of course, my happiness, lifestyle changes, and accomplishments have brought out the haters faster than a tween chasing Bieber. At first I was kind of hurt and figured there was a misunderstanding of what I was trying to accomplish. Hence my first vlog on why I chose bikini and how I wasn't killing myself. It didn't take long for me to realize that the people tearing me down aren't just confused or worried about me. (If you're not a fan of vulgarity, stop reading now.)

NOPE. They're assholes. I'm succeeding in ways they've never believed possible. I'm taking what was once only dreams and turning them into reality. I'm chasing my future like a cheetah hunts down a gazelle. I'm hungry. I'm driven. I'm hustling. The haters can only project their failures onto me because they fear change. To change the course of their lives requires taking a risk. They are afraid of taking that first step. They fear failure, rejection, and the unknown. They fear ME.

In 104 days I have accomplished more than most people put on their New Year's resolution list. I have:

1) Quit smoking

2) Quit drinking

3) PR'd my 5k

4) I am up 4 pounds from my marathon weight and it's all muscle (proof here)

5) I changed careers. I lost my job December 23. I started as a Brand Specialist for DICK'S Sporting Goods Pittsburgh Marathon January 3. I passed my ACSM personal training exam January 29 and I start my job at Anytime Fitness this coming Monday. 

6) I joined the Flawless Physique Competition Team. Yes, I will step on stage in a bikini and enjoy every minute of it.

7) I got engaged!

8) I reached my goal of being able to do a strict pull-up. I can do ONE, just one, but I can do it.

9) I can deadlift my previous 1 rep max for sets of 8 now

10) I can squat more than my own weight

How you actually support a woman

And the best part of all, no one can take these things away from me. The hatred, the comments, the jabs disguised as a joke.... none of them diminish what I've done. I'm still going to marry the kindest and strongest and funniest man I've ever known. I'm still going to have two beautiful daughters. My life is still going to be full of promise. And I'm still going to reach my dreams. The only thing that changes is that now I know who deserves to be a part of it.

So, my dear haters, this is the end of the time I have designated for you. This is the last of my energy that you will drain. From now on your comments will be deleted and you will be blocked. I have goals to reach and dreams to chase. I don't have the time for your negativity and I won't apologize for cutting you out of my life. If you can't match my hustle then you'll just have to sit your ass down.

A Week of WIN

My life is beyond crazy right now and, for the first time in a LONG time, it's ALL good! My last post was only a week ago and already things are changing.

The biggest change is the news that Sean got a job here in PA! I will be travelling to SC the first week of March (for the last time!) and then we will be moving him here! I am so unbelievably excited to have my partner in crime in the same state. We have been through so much and survived seven months of being 600 miles apart. Hopefully I will never again go weeks (or even days) without seeing his face! And once he is here the fun of apartment/house hunting begins! Oh boy!

This picture says a lot about why I am head over heels for this beast!

On top of Sean's new job, I also have one! Starting this coming Monday I am the newest personal trainer at Anytime Fitness Leechburg. I can't help but feel like this was all somehow meant to be. Sean and I had our interviews the same day. He got the job he felt was the best fit for him and I got the one I have dreamed of since I joined Anytime. They are going to allow me to take a week away right when I'm just starting to get Sean moved and the timeline for my training period coincides perfectly with the end of my DICK'S Pittsburgh Marathon job for the year. The schedules work together perfectly! I just couldn't imagine things being any better right now!

My training is still going strong. Thanks to Casey and Steve at Flawless Physique, I am stronger than ever and starting to feel ready to step on stage. I was looking at the South Carolina Bodybuilding Championships for my debut but I have no reason to travel to SC anymore! So now I am hoping to do a May show in Pittsburgh to coincide with the end of my marathon work and the beginning of taking on full time personal training. 

I have made a lot of friends at my gym already. And they push me every day! Today, two state troopers took time out of their own workouts to help me get my first pull-ups. I started with two chin-ups (in the video) and then was able to get a single pull-up as well! I feel like I could take on the world! Next goal is to lose the kick and be able to perform them strict!

I don't really have a conclusion for this blog. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has supported me or cheered me on when things were falling about. I am not always an easy person to deal with. I'm not an optimist and I often let my hustle get in the way of my personal relationships. But a handful of real life friends and a bushel of my social media peeps have always had my back. I can't wait to pay it forward as I move into this next stage of my life!